Harmony?

You and me in harmony?

We’re singing different tunes.

It seems like you miss every note

And I can barely croon.

Harmony, harmony

It’s something of a joke

You’re an off key sort of girl

And I’m a tone deaf bloke.

But I need you here with me

Tell me I’m not wrong

We’re out of step and out of tune

But kind of get along.

A response to Eugie’s weekly prompt Harmony

Back to school

Mary had a little lamb

They said go back to school

She wasn’t sure if she’d be safe

But they had changed the rule.

Now everywhere that Mary went

The lamb was sure to go

He followed her to school that day

Though Mary didn’t know.

It made the children laugh and play

To see a lamb at school

But as for social distancing

To them it seemed too cruel.

They were so pleased to see their friends

They laughed and squealed with glee

A lamb in class made them forget

To do things differently.

‘It’s hard enough to keep kids safe,

the lamb should not be here!’

The angry teacher turned him out

But he still lingered near.

He waited patiently there bouts

for Mary to appear

She promised she would take him home

And made her anger clear.

“What makes the lamb love Mary so?”

The eager children cry;

“She understands the rules so well”

The teacher did reply.

While the old folks die

The U.K. has experienced the highest number of Coronavirus deaths in Europe and a quarter of known coronavirus deaths in Great Britain have happened in care homes but there is still a view we should ‘back Boris’ and not ask awkward questions. It reminded me of Kipling’s poem ‘the Smugglers’ with its refrain, ‘Watch the wall my darling while the gentlemen go by.’

IF you wake at midnight, a’ sweating at the count

Please don’t blame our leader, should the death toll mount,

Them that don’t ask questions won’t be told a lie.

Back to sleep my darling, while the old folk die.

Don’t go asking questions,

Best stay in the dark –

There are daily briefings, questions no one asks

Clapping for the nurses; rules for you and I,

Bite your tongue my darling while the old folk die!

If you make comparisons and you chance to find

Evidence that’s mounting up and preying on your mind,

Don’t you shout to come and look, or use it for your play.

Carefully place a lid on it so all’s forgot next day.

If you see the stable-door setting open wide;

If you see an argument crudely brushed aside

If you see the minister’s cut about and tore;

If the questions are too tough – don’t you ask no more !

If you meet apologists sharing what they’ve read,

You be careful what you say, and mindful what is said.

If they call you ” pretty maid,” and chuck you ‘neath the chin,

Better you just back away and think of giving in.

If you see an empty bench – division lobbies dark –

If parliament behaves itself and house-dogs will not bark.

Sir Keir is there, but none to hear, so see how dumb they lie

They don’t fret or holler out when the old folks die !

‘If you do as you’ve been told, ‘maybe there’s a chance,

They will get you back to work, or picking fruit perchance,

You’ll get to see a relative or play a game of golf

They’ll let you have a cleaner in; but keep your granny out.

Five and twenty briefings,

Still we’re in the dark –

Swerve the awkward questions, silence awkward folk

Them that don’t ask questions isn’t told a lie –

Bite your tongue my darling while the old folks die!

Four and twenty Londoners crammed in a Pie

Workers in U.K. have been advised to get back to work if they can’t work at home but to avoid public transport; contradictory advice if you live or work in a big city like London, so the result has been predictable, packed tubes and buses.

Sing a song of sixpence

Whose scared to die?

Four and twenty Londoners

Crammed in a Pie.

When the pie was opened

They all began to sing—

It’s the perfect petri dish

To catch a virus in.

The king is in his counting house

Disinfecting money,

The queen avoids the London bus

Though she needs some honey.

The maid is on the underground

Covering up her face

Along comes the virus

She’s another case.

Sing a song of sixpence,

Who wants to die?

Four and twenty Londoners

Baked in a pie.

When the pie is opened

They all begin to sing—

Isn’t that a dainty dish

To set before the king?

Rhymes for our times

This is the second update on my project to rewrite nursery rhymes and popular stories from the perspective of these Covid times. In case you missed the first update you can find it here.

I’d particularly draw your attention to the plights of the Woman who lived in a shoe and of Old Mother Hubbard, although the latter’s cupboard had been thankfully replenished by the time we left her. No such luck for the woman who lived in a shoe who is praying for news of when the children can all go back to school.

As for Rapunzel, Wee Willie Winkie, Jack and Jill and the inhabitants of Narnia, not to mention the fine doctor in her white coat; well, I’m sure you can track them down if you’re desperate to know: but what’s new?

Mary quite contrary, as they like to call her, isn’t quite as contrary as we thought. The reason she was apparently ignoring all the guidance and going out more than she should was she is a key worker and had to go to work. She’d love to have been enjoying her garden like so many of us are but didn’t have that choice.

Little Jack Horner on the other hand is loving his corner and doesn’t want to go back to his studies anytime soon. He’s quite happy tapping away at an I-pad with his thumbs and enjoying his mother’s pies.

Whilst Jack’s Ben happily tucked away keeping himself to himself Georgie Porgie Puddin’ and Pie has been flouting social distancing rules and getting too close to passers by. He got too close to some of the girls and left them in tears.

A more serious breach of lockdown rules was committed by the Bad Sheep in Bah, bah bad sheep in as far as he broke rules he had a part in drawing up. Any resemblance to actual characters wasn’t wholly coincidental as a certain government adviser may have been on our minds when we reported the incident.

Whilst there was some controversy over whether or not to extend the lockdown in hundred acre wood, Winnie the Pooh and his friends were generally happy to leave it to Christopher Robin to decide.

Hey, diddle, diddle, or Diddlegate as it’s come to be called, was an altogether more serious piece. Despite the levity contributed by the little dog, the cat and his fiddle and athletic contributions by a cow, a dish and a spoon, it was a serious indictment of how the U.K. government has handled the pandemic although, in keeping with what’s referred to as the national mood, it obviously concludes that the Prime Minister is doing his best and if there are more deaths than we’d like it’s probably all the fault of his critics for not getting behind him.

Little Miss Muffet had an unfortunate encounter with a spider, although it seems the spider had no intention to get so close and was simply confused by the latest guidance. Miss Muffet is determined to ‘stay alert’ and not let such a thing happen again.

Finally, Christopher Robin, hard to keep him out of the news was disappointed he couldn’t get to Buckingham Palace with Alice for the Changing of the Guard, although we understand it’s a somewhat diminished ceremony with all of the Coldstream Guards furloughed. The remaining troops are staying alert against the virus and their sergeant is very particular to make sure they all wash their hands.

Hope that’s caught you up for now and you’ll follow the links for any episodes you may have missed. Stay safe and let me know what you think or would like to hear about in the comments.

Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace