Christmas Child

A poem for Ben – born on Christmas Day.

You were Christmas’s child

Born not to riches

But to a life of graft

Making, mending and making do.

There were no gifts from the east for you

But craftsmanship guile, ready wit

The gift of friendship

And a fiercely independent spirit.

A time died with you

We only knew through your stories

Of big families, passed down children

Cursory schooling, schoolyard japes.

Of millionaires, big houses, gardeners,

Chauffeuring at fourteen.

Living starlit under country skies,

Courting on bicycles, bowler hatted,

Army scrapes and country pubs.

A time too we shared with you.

Days in your cosy, pokey cottage

Coal fires, pub lunches,

Stories and the things you said.

You in your chair beneath the stairs,

Snuff, boiled sweets and salad teas.

Neighbours in and out to greet you.

Shakey hands you could turn to anything.

Warm greetings and fond partings.

You won’t be there another Christmas,

Won’t be found there in your chair.

Gone the warmth of your fresh greeting.

Gone a source of Christmas cheer.

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Her Majesty’s Christmas Headache

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One likes to chill at Christmas

Relax with family and friends.

But the wretched politicians are

Turning that on end!

 

Rip up one’s Christmas message

And start the thing again!

Whatever seasonal message

Can one’s Majesty send?

 

Struggling with the message

One had a dreadful thought

If Theresa loses her confidence vote

It’ll be down to one to choose.

 

Who will one choose

to sort the mess?

I don’t know I confess.

Corbyn, Johnson, Dominic Raab?

The country’s in a mess!

 

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1054513/royal-news-brexit-latest-news-queen-prime-minister-no-confidence-vote

 

For more insights on Her Majesty and life in Royal Windsor ‘Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?’ Is available as a paperback or kindle on Amazon.

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Christmas Angels

13EB9E09-8041-4BFD-8184-C66171A88180.jpegWe like to collect Christmas angels

They mostly live in our loft.

This time of the year they all come out

It’s time for them all to show off.

 

We don’t collect precious angels

Nothing too prissy or twee.

Our angels have to have attitude

Wear boots or maybe a scarf.

 

They have woolly hats

Or their hair in a plait

Hurl snowballs or skate on ice.

They come from places where we’ve been

From different parts of the world.

 

It gives us a lift when they come out again 

To cheer up our Christmas scene.

So here’s to the Christmas angels

Raise a glass and be of good cheer

The nights are dark and it’s cold outside

But Christmas will soon be here.

Christmas Mix

Come let’s stir the Christmas pudding

Throw stuff in the Christmas mix:

Christmas jumpers, boring uncles

We three Kings and magic tricks.

Hark the herald, here comes Santa

Hang your stocking by the hearth.

Joseph, Mary, reindeers canter

Peace and love and joy on earth.

Christmas markets, deadly drivers

Fix a wreath upon your door.

Children with their happy faces

Frantic parents hit the stores.

Out collecting, tinny music,

Christmas carols everywhere.

Rattled cans, help the poor,

Care at Christmas, not before.

Wrapping paper, tinsel, baubles

Christmas presents deck the floor.

Frightened Shepherds, holly, ivy

More mince pies, can eat no more.

Come thou long expected Santa

Jesus sleeping in the hay.

Bring us presents Christmas Day.

Get the children in their beds.

Here comes Santa on his sled.

Reindeer pull the magic sleigh

Past office parties off their heads.

Shepherds quake upon a hill

Eat and drink until you’re ill.

It’s the season to be merry

Let’s get high on bottled sherry.

Jesus, Mary, come on in

The party’s here, forget the inn.

Much too drafty in the stable

Come on in we’ll set the table.

Sit here round the Christmas tree.

Bethlehem’s an alright story

All those angels, realm of glory.

But it’s same old child, same old story

Must be better on TV.

Let’s forget those silent nights

Let’s get merry, let’s get tight.

Come oh come, Emmanuel,

Wenceslas gathering winter fuel,

Christ has come to earth for us

We’ll invite him if we must.

 

If you enjoyed this please check out my new book Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I  Be Laureate?

 

I went to Windsor Castle

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I went to Windsor Castle 

To show the Queen my book.

I thought I saw the curtains twitch

But maybe I’m mistook.

The flag was flying as we came

But then they whipped it down

I thought I heard a lackey say,

“That bloody man again”.

She doesn’t have to buy the thing

Just maybe take a look

I’m up for being Laureate

It’s why I wrote the book.

I’m often out in Windsor

But seldom see the Queen

It seems that she’s avoiding me

And hides when I am seen.

Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I be Laureate? is available as a paperback or for kindle on Amazon.

Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?

My new book ‘Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?’ is a humorous collection of royal poems pushing the merits of a local Laureate who could pop round to the Castle with a poem whenever the occasion demands it. 

The UK’s current Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy will be standing down soon at the end of her ten-year stint. A distinguished committee of experts will be making recommendations for a new Laureate to be appointed from May 2019. Some well known poets have made clear they don’t wish to be considered but I am available and willing and would aim to bring a lighter touch to the role.

I won’t be too disappointed if they go for someone else. My poems are more for fun than to be taken seriously; affectionate but slightly irreverent.

The book is a light hearted look at what it’s like to live as a close neighbour of the royals in an imagined Windsor where locals regularly rub shoulders with royalty. It would make an ideal stocking filler for locals with a sense of humour.

I’m hoping Windsor’s newest residents Harry and Meghan will want a copy as there are several poems about their wedding.

Begging Your Pardon is available now on Amazon as a paperback or for Kindle.