Come let’s stir the Christmas pudding
Throw stuff in the Christmas mix:
Christmas jumpers, boring uncles
We three Kings and magic tricks.
Hark the herald, here comes Santa
Hang your stocking by the hearth.
Joseph, Mary, reindeers canter
Peace and love and joy on earth.
Christmas markets, deadly drivers
Fix a wreath upon your door.
Children with their happy faces
Frantic parents hit the stores.
Out collecting, tinny music,
Christmas carols everywhere.
Rattled cans, help the poor,
Care at Christmas, not before.
Wrapping paper, tinsel, baubles
Christmas presents deck the floor.
Frightened Shepherds, holly, ivy
More mince pies, can eat no more.
Come thou long expected Santa
Jesus sleeping in the hay.
Bring us presents Christmas Day.
Get the children in their beds.
Here comes Santa on his sled.
Reindeer pull the magic sleigh
Past office parties off their heads.
Shepherds quake upon a hill
Eat and drink until you’re ill.
It’s the season to be merry
Let’s get high on bottled sherry.
Jesus, Mary, come on in
The party’s here, forget the inn.
Much too drafty in the stable
Come on in we’ll set the table.
Sit here round the Christmas tree.
Bethlehem’s an alright story
All those angels, realm of glory.
But it’s same old child, same old story
Must be better on TV.
Let’s forget those silent nights
Let’s get merry, let’s get tight.
Come oh come, Emmanuel,
Wenceslas gathering winter fuel,
Christ has come to earth for us
We’ll invite him if we must.
If you enjoyed this please check out my new book Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?