A Job Offer from Buckingham Palace!

I’ve finally had a job offer from Buckingham Palace! I’m a little surprised and confused because it’s not quite the job I’d hoped for. You’ll know I hope that I have offered myself as the next Poet Laureate. Sadly there has been no news on that front but another opportunity has come up.

I’ve received correspondence, via an agency I forgot I’d ever registered with, offering me a job in ticket sales. Slightly left field but maybe Her Majesty is dropping a hint I need to get a foot in the door and work my way up? I’d have preferred ‘fast track’ given my advanced years but you have to start somewhere. I’ll share the details here in case any one else is interested.

Dear Andrew

We are sending you this mailing because you are registered on the UK’s leading website for over 50s jobseekers.
The Royal Collection Trust has posted a new job opportunity which may be of interest to you.The employers are particularly interested in receiving applications from people aged over 50. The details are shown below.
Please accept our apologies if your experience or interest lies elsewhere. We’ll be sending new opportunities in the next few weeks.

Thank you.
It’s being part of the team who deliver an exceptional visitor experience.
It’s the collaboration and the community spirit. And it’s helping millions enjoy magnificent buildings and beautiful art. 
This is what makes working for Royal Collection Trust so different.
When the doors of Buckingham Palace’s glorious State Rooms are opened to the public each August and September, hundreds of thousands of people come to visit. As part of an outstanding and friendly team, you’ll make their experience special.
Whether you’re selling the ticket that starts it all, making things perfect on the day, or providing the outstanding retail service at the end, you’ll make every visitor feel welcome and valued.
You’ll answer their questions, provide information, and always aim for the highest possible levels of visitor care and security.
About you
Friendly, outgoing and professional, with the ability to communicate well with all kinds of people, you’ll fit right in.
You’re an outstanding team player, cool and calm under pressure, and able to work flexibly and effectively even when things get busy.
For our Retail and Ticket Sales roles, an ability to engage with customers to meet sales targets is important too, as well as numeracy and a good level of computer literacy.
Above all, you know what it takes to create the kind of customer experience that leaves a lasting and positive impression.

This is your opportunity to use your personality and customer service skills to deliver the exceptional.
Royal Collection Trust is committed to equality of opportunity.
The closing date for applications is 23 January 2019.
Pay: £10.55 per hour, plus lunch and training provided

Hours: A minimum of 300 hours for the duration of the contract. You will typically be rostered to work over 4 or 5 days per week, Monday to Sunday, including regular weekends.

Contract: Fixed-term
To see more about this role and Apply please click Here. 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

A guest blog from Her Majesty the Queen

It seems that the would be Laureate Mr. Andrew Green was put out that One did not include a ‘shout out’, as he chooses to put it, for his book Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate? in one’s Christmas Message. One has apologised of course but a few words here seemed the least one could do to make up.

2018 has been a year of centenaries. The Royal Air Force celebrated its hundredth anniversary with a memorable fly-past demonstrating a thrilling unity of purpose and execution. We owe them and all our armed services our deepest gratitude and 100 years on from the ending of World War 1 we should not forget the poets who brought the horrors of war to life for us. Who can forget Wilfred Owen who died so tragically days before the armistice? We recall that his mother received the telegram informing her of his death on Armistice Day as the church bells in Shrewsbury were ringing out in celebration of the wars end. One likes poetry and will be putting in a word for Mr. Green to be the next Poet Laureate. It would be handy for one with him living so close to Windsor. One’s there most week-ends and never knows when a quick couplet might be called for.

It has been a busy year for my family. With two weddings and two babies and another child expected soon. I loved Mr. Green’s poem for Harry and Meghan’s wedding though it was a little disrespectful here and there and I have warned him to pull his socks off. We don’t do the ‘off with his head’ bit any more but we still have standards. Harry enjoyed it but we know about his sense of humour and the trouble it gets him into. Meghan wasn’t awfully sure; a bit to British for her one expects.

It all helps to keep a grandmother well occupied. We have had other celebrations too, including the 70th birthday of the Prince of Wales. I forgot to buy him a card and have heard about nothing else all year. Charles thinks one is becoming forgetful and should think of retiring.

Some cultures believe a long life brings wisdom. I’d like to think so. Perhaps, part of that wisdom is to recognize some of life’s baffling paradoxes such as why everything one enjoys eating or drinking is so bad for one. One has eaten so much this Christmas and would like to go on a diet in the New Year but all the beastly banquets make that so difficult for one.

In April the Commonwealth Heads of Government met in London. My father welcomed just eight countries to the first such meetings in 1948. Now, the Commonwealth includes 53 countries with 2.4 billion people, a third of the world’s population. Its strength lies in the bonds of affection it promotes and a common desire to live in a better, more peaceful world. It’s important to build friendships around the world especially when we are struggling to get on with the neighbours.

One’s nervous of mentioning the Brexit thing, every one gets so cross with each other’s and one’s running out of relatives one can marry off to take people’s mind off it.

Even with the most deeply held differences, treating the other person with respect and as a fellow human being is always a good first step towards greater understanding. Indeed the Commonwealth Games held this year on Australia’s Gold Coast are known universally as the friendly games because of their emphasis on good will, mutual respect and not inviting the Americans, Chinese or European’s. We send four British teams instead of one and win stacks more medals than we would otherwise. We love it.

The Christmas story retains its appeal since it doesn’t provide theoretical explanations for the puzzles of life. Instead, it’s about the birth of a child, and the hope that birth 2,000 years ago, brought to the world. Only a few people acknowledged Jesus when he was born; now billions follow him. I believe his message of peace on earth and goodwill to all and unexpected success is never out of date. It can be heeded by everyone; not least obscure poets!!

A very happy Christmasto you all and may Mr. Green and his poetry thrive in the New Year!

Oh and buy the book or, if one’s to poor, get the kindle version.

Her Majesty’s Christmas Headache

2116E896-CB33-4A8B-B125-80A5A797ECEF

 

One likes to chill at Christmas

Relax with family and friends.

But the wretched politicians are

Turning that on end!

 

Rip up one’s Christmas message

And start the thing again!

Whatever seasonal message

Can one’s Majesty send?

 

Struggling with the message

One had a dreadful thought

If Theresa loses her confidence vote

It’ll be down to one to choose.

 

Who will one choose

to sort the mess?

I don’t know I confess.

Corbyn, Johnson, Dominic Raab?

The country’s in a mess!

 

https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1054513/royal-news-brexit-latest-news-queen-prime-minister-no-confidence-vote

 

For more insights on Her Majesty and life in Royal Windsor ‘Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?’ Is available as a paperback or kindle on Amazon.

995C81CE-852D-4CAA-BB41-51832135BB1C

 

 

I went to Windsor Castle

img_4817

 

 

I went to Windsor Castle 

To show the Queen my book.

I thought I saw the curtains twitch

But maybe I’m mistook.

The flag was flying as we came

But then they whipped it down

I thought I heard a lackey say,

“That bloody man again”.

She doesn’t have to buy the thing

Just maybe take a look

I’m up for being Laureate

It’s why I wrote the book.

I’m often out in Windsor

But seldom see the Queen

It seems that she’s avoiding me

And hides when I am seen.

Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I be Laureate? is available as a paperback or for kindle on Amazon.

Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?

My new book ‘Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate?’ is a humorous collection of royal poems pushing the merits of a local Laureate who could pop round to the Castle with a poem whenever the occasion demands it. 

The UK’s current Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy will be standing down soon at the end of her ten-year stint. A distinguished committee of experts will be making recommendations for a new Laureate to be appointed from May 2019. Some well known poets have made clear they don’t wish to be considered but I am available and willing and would aim to bring a lighter touch to the role.

I won’t be too disappointed if they go for someone else. My poems are more for fun than to be taken seriously; affectionate but slightly irreverent.

The book is a light hearted look at what it’s like to live as a close neighbour of the royals in an imagined Windsor where locals regularly rub shoulders with royalty. It would make an ideal stocking filler for locals with a sense of humour.

I’m hoping Windsor’s newest residents Harry and Meghan will want a copy as there are several poems about their wedding.

Begging Your Pardon is available now on Amazon as a paperback or for Kindle.

Free Delivery if you order Begging Your Pardon by 5th December!

The big day has arrived! Begging Your Pardon is now available on Amazon and this week only there is free delivery. So get those Christmas orders in now!

Follow these steps to make sure you receive free delivery.

STEP ONE – Eligible items dispatched by Amazon will display FREE DELIVERY next to the item price.

STEP TWO – Enter the promo code FREEDELIVERY and select Standard Delivery at checkout.

STEP THREE – your items will be dispatched 1-2 business days after all your items are available for dispatch. 


From 29th November to 5th December, all Amazon customers can enjoy free standard delivery, with no minimum purchase amount, when they use promotional code FREEDELIVERY at checkout. The promotion applies to all items listed as “dispatched” or “fulfilled” by Amazon on the product detail page and is available for millions of items with no minimum order amount, including top gift ideas like toys and electronics, as well as home items, fashion and more. The promotional code can be used multiple times throughout the Free Delivery Week promotion. 

Learn more here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/freedeliveryweek.


Order your copy of  Begging Your Pardon now.

Now available on Amazon.

Changing Poets at Buckingham Palace

From an original by A.A. Milne:

They’re changing poets at Buckingham Palace –

Carol Ann Duffy’s passing the chalice

Ten years service enough for one bard.

“A poet’s life is terrible hard,”

Says Alice.

They’re changing poets at Buckingham Palace –

Andrew Green went down with Alice.

We saw a guard in a sentry-box.

“They’re guarding all the poetry books”

Says Alice.

They’re changing poets at Buckingham Palace –

Andrew Green went down with Alice.

We looked for the Queen but she never came.

“Just write her a poem all the same,”

Says Alice.

They’re changing poets at Buckingham Palace –

Andrew Green went down with Alice.

They’ve great big parties inside the grounds.

“I wouldn’t be Queen for a hundred pounds,”

Says Alice.

They’re changing poets at Buckingham Palace –

Andrew Green went down with Alice.

A face looked out, but it wasn’t the Queen’s

“She’s much too busy a-signing things,”

Says Alice.

They’re changing poets at Buckingham Palace –

Andrew Green went down with Alice.

“Do you think the Queen knows all about me?”

“Sure to, dear, but it’s time for tea,”

Says Alice.

Begging Your Pardon – Please Can I Be Laureate? – coming Friday 30th November. Available for pre order on Amazon now.