Rhymes for our times

This is the second update on my project to rewrite nursery rhymes and popular stories from the perspective of these Covid times. In case you missed the first update you can find it here.

 

I’d particularly draw your attention to the plights of the Woman who lived in a shoe and of Old Mother Hubbard, although the latter’s cupboard had been thankfully replenished by the time we left her. No such luck for the woman who lived in a shoe who is praying for news of when the children can all go back to school.

As for Rapunzel, Wee Willie Winkie, Jack and Jill and the inhabitants of Narnia, not to mention the fine doctor in her white coat; well, I’m sure you can track them down if you’re desperate to know: but what’s new?

Mary quite contrary, as they like to call her, isn’t quite as contrary as we thought. The reason she was apparently ignoring all the guidance and going out more than she should was she is a key worker and had to go to work. She’d love to have been enjoying her garden like so many of us are but didn’t have that choice.

Little Jack Horner on the other hand is loving his corner and doesn’t want to go back to his studies anytime soon. He’s quite happy tapping away at an I-pad with his thumbs and enjoying his mother’s pies.

Whilst Jack’s Ben happily tucked away keeping himself to himself Georgie Porgie Puddin’ and Pie has been flouting social distancing rules and getting too close to passers by. He got too close to some of the girls and left them in tears.

A more serious breach of lockdown rules was committed by the Bad Sheep in Bah, bah bad sheep in as far as he broke rules he had a part in drawing up. Any resemblance to actual characters wasn’t wholly coincidental as a certain government adviser may have been on our minds when we reported the incident.

Whilst there was some controversy over whether or not to extend the lockdown in hundred acre wood, Winnie the Pooh and his friends were generally happy to leave it to Christopher Robin to decide.

Hey, diddle, diddle, or Diddlegate as it’s come to be called, was an altogether more serious piece. Despite the levity contributed by the little dog, the cat and his fiddle and athletic contributions by a cow, a dish and a spoon, it was a serious indictment of how the U.K. government has handled the pandemic although, in keeping with what’s referred to as the national mood, it obviously concludes that the Prime Minister is doing his best and if there are more deaths than we’d like it’s probably all the fault of his critics for not getting behind him.

Little Miss Muffet had an unfortunate encounter with a spider, although it seems the spider had no intention to get so close and was simply confused by the latest guidance. Miss Muffet is determined to ‘stay alert’ and not let such a thing happen again.

Finally, Christopher Robin, hard to keep him out of the news was disappointed he couldn’t get to Buckingham Palace with Alice for the Changing of the Guard, although we understand it’s a somewhat diminished ceremony with all of the Coldstream Guards furloughed. The remaining troops are staying alert against the virus and their sergeant is very particular to make sure they all wash their hands.

Hope that’s caught you up for now and you’ll follow the links for any episodes you may have missed. Stay safe and let me know what you think or would like to hear about in the comments.

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