Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

Where have you been?

Stuck home in lockdown

glued to a screen.

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

What did you see?

Much too much netflix

Endless TV.

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

Are you still there?

Pretty much yes

Still stuck in a chair.

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

What happens next?

Getting out soon

They’ve developed a test.

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

Will normal resume?

Not sure it will yet

Not any time soon.

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

Any regrets?

How can there not be?

Too many deaths.

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

They did their best

Then how come our death rate

Is worse than the rest?

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat

What can I say?

The truth will out one day

and someone will pay.

Poor Bo Peep

Little Bo Peep
has lost her youth
her best years
are confounded.

She’s all alone
stuck in at home
and can’t get out
to party.

How will love come
to one so alone?
She doesn’t know
where she’ll find it.

She’ll sit on her own
Call friends on her phone
But all of her dreams
are thwarted.

She’ll leave them alone
till better days come
and the bad days
will be well behind her.

Humpty Dumpty Fell Off A Wall

Any resemblance to recent events is unintended and purely coincidental.

Humpty Dumpty
fell off a wall
The King and his men
weren’t happy at all.

There’s too many falling
Too many ill
The numbers are rising
They’re going up still.

All the Kings horses
and all the Kings men
Couldn’t get numbers
To come down again.

There’s too many poorly
And flat on their back
It’s clearly a problem
We’ll just have to crack.

But the King said it’s simple
Here’s what we must do
Nothing gets done
If it’s left up to you.

The numbers keep rising
Because you will count
If you stop counting
The numbers won’t mount.

If Humpty’s still broken
We’ll just look away
If nobody sees
Then there’s nothing to say.

Back to school

Mary had a little lamb

They said go back to school

She wasn’t sure if she’d be safe

But they had changed the rule.

 

Now everywhere that Mary went

The lamb was sure to go

He followed her to school that day

Though Mary didn’t know.

 

It made the children laugh and play

To see a lamb at school

But as for social distancing

To them it seemed too cruel.

 

They were so pleased  to see their friends

They laughed and squealed with glee

A lamb in class made them forget

To do things differently.

 

‘It’s hard enough to keep kids safe,

the lamb should not be here!’

The angry teacher turned him out

But he still lingered near.

 

He waited patiently there bouts 

for Mary to appear 

She promised she would take him home

And made her anger clear.

 

“What makes the lamb love Mary so?” 

The eager children cry; 

“She understands the rules so well”

The teacher did reply.

While the old folks die

The U.K. has experienced the highest number of Coronavirus deaths in Europe and a quarter of known coronavirus deaths in Great Britain have happened in care homes but there is still a view we should ‘back Boris’ and not ask awkward questions. It reminded me of Kipling’s poem ‘the Smugglers’ with its refrain, ‘Watch the wall my darling while the gentlemen go by.’

 

IF you wake at midnight, a’ sweating at the count

Please don’t blame our leader, should the death toll mount,

Them that don’t ask questions won’t be told a lie.

Back to sleep my darling, while the old folk die.

 

Don’t go asking questions, 

Best stay in the dark – 

There are daily briefings, questions no one asks

Clapping for the nurses; rules for you and I,

Bite your tongue my darling while the old folk die! 

 

If you make comparisons and you chance to find 

Evidence that’s mounting up and preying on your mind,

Don’t you shout to come and look, or use it for your play.

Carefully place a lid on it so all’s forgot next day.

 

If you see the stable-door setting open wide;

If you see an argument crudely brushed aside

If you see the minister’s cut about and tore;

If the questions are too tough – don’t you ask no more ! 

 

If you meet apologists sharing what they’ve read,

You be careful what you say, and mindful what is said.

If they call you ” pretty maid,” and chuck you ‘neath the chin,

Better you just back away and think of giving in. 

 

If you see an empty bench  – division lobbies dark –

If parliament behaves itself and house-dogs will not bark.

Sir Keir is there, but none to hear, so see how dumb they lie

They don’t fret or holler out when the old folks die ! 

 

‘If you do as you’ve been told, ‘maybe there’s a chance,

They will get you back to work, or picking fruit perchance,

You’ll get to see a relative or play a game of golf

They’ll let you have a cleaner in; but keep your granny out.

 

Five and twenty briefings, 

Still we’re in the dark – 

Swerve the awkward questions, silence awkward folk

Them that don’t ask questions isn’t told a lie – 

Bite your tongue my darling while the old folks die!

Hey Diddle, Diddle

Hey diddle, diddle

why did you fiddle

and not make the lockdown begin?

The little dog laughs

to see such things

and the dish says the deaths are a sin.

 

Hey diddle, diddle

you’re fit as a fiddle

surely it won’t affect you?

But now the man’s caught it

who shook hands and snorted

so who’ll tell us now what to do?

 

Hey diddle, diddle

the figures are fiddled

the cow says we’ll flatten the curve.

We’re doing just great

or so they all state

but some say they’re not reassured.

 

Hey diddle, diddle

the cat and the fiddle

Grandad died in a home.

If they’re old they don’t count

so the figures don’t mount

and the dish runs away with the spoon.

 

Hey diddle, diddle

the deaths are a riddle

seems like ours are the worst.

But you can’t blame our man

does the best that he can

we’ll just blame his critics of course.

 

 

Socially Distanced VE Day

Grab a stranger by the hand

paddle in a fountain

that’s the way to celebrate

be a happy nation.

 

Trestle tables down the street

party with the neighbours

heaven knows they endured

quite enough privation.

 

Hug the nearest one you can

cuddle with a sailor

dancing in the city streets

proper celebration.

 

Now we all remember them

sitting in our garden

maybe all go out the front

social isolation.

 

Raise a glass then if you can

to a distant neighbour

one day we will dance again

be a happier nation.

 

Up and down the City road,

In and out the Eagle,

all the pubs will open up,

be a celebration.

Should We Ease The Lockdown In Hundred Acre Wood?

Should we ease the lockdown

in hundred acre wood?

Tigger is excited,

he really thinks we should.

 

Eeyore thinks it won’t end well;

he’s pessimistic gloomy

but doesn’t think they’re listening

‘Just go on, ignore me.’

 

Pooh thinks that they kind of should

But then again they shouldn’t.

In a certain kind of way

he’s really undecided.

 

Piglet thinks he kind of

quite agrees with Pooh

he’s sure Christopher Robin

will know what’s right to do.

 

Kanga says that easing up

needn’t be too dreadful

she and Roo will still be safe

if they’re really careful.

 

Owl who’s very, very wise

says listen to the science

it’s really quite a good idea

or maybe not on balance.

 

Tigger thinks it’s quite ok

they will control the virus.

Eeyore says it’s really not

he heard it on the wireless.

 

Owl thinks it’s important

to weigh up all the factors

Pooh and Piglet sort of think

they’ll wait and see what happens.

Bah, Bah Bad Sheep

Bah, bah bad sheep

seems you broke the rule!

One rule for other folk

a different one for you.

 

A rule for the master,

a rule for the dame,

another for the little man

who lives down the lane.

 

Rules are made for bending

use your common sense

but if ‘‘twas you

that made the rule

it’s best the rule is kept.

 

Bah, Bah Bad Sheep

You should keep the rules

What you ask of other folk

You should do too.