Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin can’t go says Alice

They’ve furloughed all the Coldstream Guards

A soldiers life is terribly hard

says Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin can’t go with Alice

A soldier has to be very alert

to stop the virus from being caught

says Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin can’t go with Alice

They socially distanced all the bands

A sergeant checks they wash their hands

says Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin can’t go with Alice

They can’t have parties in the grounds

friends and neighbours can’t come round

says Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin can’t go with Alice.

A face looked out but it wasn’t the Queen’s

She has to shelter so it seems

thinks Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin can’t go with Alice

Do you think the Queen is bored like us?

Don’t suppose she makes a fuss.

says Alice.

Hey Diddle, Diddle

Hey diddle, diddle

why did you fiddle

and not make the lockdown begin?

The little dog laughs

to see such things

and the dish says the deaths are a sin.

 

Hey diddle, diddle

you’re fit as a fiddle

surely it won’t affect you?

But now the man’s caught it

who shook hands and snorted

so who’ll tell us now what to do?

 

Hey diddle, diddle

the figures are fiddled

the cow says we’ll flatten the curve.

We’re doing just great

or so they all state

but some say they’re not reassured.

 

Hey diddle, diddle

the cat and the fiddle

Grandad died in a home.

If they’re old they don’t count

so the figures don’t mount

and the dish runs away with the spoon.

 

Hey diddle, diddle

the deaths are a riddle

seems like ours are the worst.

But you can’t blame our man

does the best that he can

we’ll just blame his critics of course.

 

 

Socially Distanced VE Day

Grab a stranger by the hand

paddle in a fountain

that’s the way to celebrate

be a happy nation.

 

Trestle tables down the street

party with the neighbours

heaven knows they endured

quite enough privation.

 

Hug the nearest one you can

cuddle with a sailor

dancing in the city streets

proper celebration.

 

Now we all remember them

sitting in our garden

maybe all go out the front

social isolation.

 

Raise a glass then if you can

to a distant neighbour

one day we will dance again

be a happier nation.

 

Up and down the City road,

In and out the Eagle,

all the pubs will open up,

be a celebration.

Should We Ease The Lockdown In Hundred Acre Wood?

Should we ease the lockdown

in hundred acre wood?

Tigger is excited,

he really thinks we should.

 

Eeyore thinks it won’t end well;

he’s pessimistic gloomy

but doesn’t think they’re listening

‘Just go on, ignore me.’

 

Pooh thinks that they kind of should

But then again they shouldn’t.

In a certain kind of way

he’s really undecided.

 

Piglet thinks he kind of

quite agrees with Pooh

he’s sure Christopher Robin

will know what’s right to do.

 

Kanga says that easing up

needn’t be too dreadful

she and Roo will still be safe

if they’re really careful.

 

Owl who’s very, very wise

says listen to the science

it’s really quite a good idea

or maybe not on balance.

 

Tigger thinks it’s quite ok

they will control the virus.

Eeyore says it’s really not

he heard it on the wireless.

 

Owl thinks it’s important

to weigh up all the factors

Pooh and Piglet sort of think

they’ll wait and see what happens.

Bah, Bah Bad Sheep

Bah, bah bad sheep

seems you broke the rule!

One rule for other folk

a different one for you.

 

A rule for the master,

a rule for the dame,

another for the little man

who lives down the lane.

 

Rules are made for bending

use your common sense

but if ‘‘twas you

that made the rule

it’s best the rule is kept.

 

Bah, Bah Bad Sheep

You should keep the rules

What you ask of other folk

You should do too.

 

 

Georgie Porgie gets too close

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

gets too close to passers by

forgets his social distancing

doesn’t do the proper thing.

 

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

gets too close and makes girls cry

He breaches that two metre rule.

Isn’t very far at all.

 

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

breaks the rules when he’s outside.

just when people think they’re safe

Georgie Porgie’s by their side.

 

Don’t be like him play it safe

Georgie Porgie is a knave

When the boys come out to play

Georgie Porgie runs away.

Jack in his corner

 

Little Jack Horner

sits in the corner

scanning his iPad screen.

He taps with his thumb

has a zoom with his chums

and thinks

‘How lucky am I?’

 

He hasn’t been out

just messing about

playing his favourite games.

He doesn’t miss school

thinks lockdown is cool

And laughs, ‘How lucky am I?’

 

Little Jack Horner

sits in the corner

gorging another pie

he puts in his thumb

pulls out a plum

and thinks

‘What a great life have I.’

 

Little Jack Horner

sprawled in that corner

doesn’t want lockdown to end.

 

Mary, Mary

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Why do you have to go?

All the others are staying in

Everyone but you.

 

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Where is there left to go?

With restaurants closed

and shops as well

Where will you have to go?

 

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Stay watch your garden grow

There’s silver bells

And cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row.

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Why did we not know?

There’s work to do

You have to go

You’re a key worker you.

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

working in a shop

while your neighbours

In their gardens

moan about their lot.

In case you missed it…..

In case you missed it this is a round up of how Coronavirus and the lockdown has affected characters from nursery rhymes and well known stories.

To begin at the beginning Adam and Eve are fed up being locked down in the Garden of Eden and have complained to God. Eve is desperate to go shopping and the Snake has told her he doesn’t see why she shouldn’t. God’s not so sure though, He thinks Creation is getting on just fine without them. More about this in Adam’s Locked in Eden.

Rapunzel hasn’t seen her hairdresser in weeks and is wearing her hair even longer than she usually does. She was valuing the peace and quiet but the Princes have all been furloughed and one of them, with time on his hands, has been badgering her to let her hair down. He doesn’t think this should be a problem as her hair’s well over 2 metres long but she’s not so sure.

Meanwhile Lucy and the others thought they could skip lockdown rules if they went out through the wardrobe but lockdown is just as strict in Narnia where the Evil Queen is offering Turkish Delight as a spurious antidote. As for Aslan he’s been in the frontline of dealing with the virus, unfortunately without PPE. Sad to say he paid the price but they are clapping madly for him and hope that will bring him back.

Jack and Jill were both taken ill. Jack got it first and Jill came tumbling after. Fortunately they both recovered but are keen to promote the message we should wash our hands, stay at home and not end up as data.

Old Mother Hubbard is thankfully well but was disconcerted to find her cupboards bare, necessitating a shopping expedition. She couldn’t get an online slot so had to go to the shops in person. She found social distancing and the man in the mask who helped her at the checkout somewhat disconcerting but has thankfully restored her cupboards to bursting point. She’s even flush with toilet paper apparently.

The Old Woman in a shoe, who has so many children she doesn’t know what to do, has been hard hit as you’d expect. The children are restless, bored and on top of each other and her partner who has been furloughed and is also at home has been no help whatsoever.

In Banbury Cross the fine lady who rode a white horse has slipped out of the limelight and all the talk is about a fine lady in a white coat who is less accustomed to rings on her fingers and bells on her toes than to plastic gloves and a surgical mask.

Wee Willie Winkie has been running round town making sure everyone is safely locked down. He didn’t used to run but, as it’s encouraged by the guidance and everyone else seems to be doing it, he’s taken it up. He sucks his teeth and tuts at people who break or bend the rules but doesn’t think he might be one of them.

Banbury Cross

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross

to see a fine lady who wears a white coat.

With gloves on her fingers and mask on her nose

hope they’ll protect her wherever she goes.

 

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross

to meet with a doctor who’ll do as she must

No rings on her fingers or bells on her toes

But lives in her hands and a difficult task.

 

No pouting, no posing, celebrity fans;

anonymous doctor in surgical gown.

No twitter or Facebook or instagram fun

just wards full of patients with a tough job to do.

So who will we value when all this is through?

Will celebrity matter? I’m not sure. Are you?