Bah, bah bad sheep
seems you broke the rule!
One rule for other folk
a different one for you.
A rule for the master,
a rule for the dame,
another for the little man
who lives down the lane.
Rules are made for bending
use your common sense
but if ‘‘twas you
that made the rule
it’s best the rule is kept.
Bah, Bah Bad Sheep
You should keep the rules
What you ask of other folk
You should do too.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
gets too close to passers by
forgets his social distancing
doesn’t do the proper thing.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
gets too close and makes girls cry
He breaches that two metre rule.
Isn’t very far at all.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
breaks the rules when he’s outside.
just when people think they’re safe
Georgie Porgie’s by their side.
Don’t be like him play it safe
Georgie Porgie is a knave
When the boys come out to play
Georgie Porgie runs away.
Little Jack Horner
sits in the corner
scanning his iPad screen.
He taps with his thumb
has a zoom with his chums
and thinks
‘How lucky am I?’
He hasn’t been out
just messing about
playing his favourite games.
He doesn’t miss school
thinks lockdown is cool
And laughs, ‘How lucky am I?’
Little Jack Horner
sits in the corner
gorging another pie
he puts in his thumb
pulls out a plum
and thinks
‘What a great life have I.’
Little Jack Horner
sprawled in that corner
doesn’t want lockdown to end.
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Why do you have to go?
All the others are staying in
Everyone but you.
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Where is there left to go?
With restaurants closed
and shops as well
Where will you have to go?
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Stay watch your garden grow
There’s silver bells
And cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Why did we not know?
There’s work to do
You have to go
You’re a key worker you.
Mary, Mary quite contrary
working in a shop
while your neighbours
In their gardens
moan about their lot.
In case you missed it this is a round up of how Coronavirus and the lockdown has affected characters from nursery rhymes and well known stories.
To begin at the beginning Adam and Eve are fed up being locked down in the Garden of Eden and have complained to God. Eve is desperate to go shopping and the Snake has told her he doesn’t see why she shouldn’t. God’s not so sure though, He thinks Creation is getting on just fine without them. More about this in Adam’s Locked in Eden.
Rapunzel hasn’t seen her hairdresser in weeks and is wearing her hair even longer than she usually does. She was valuing the peace and quiet but the Princes have all been furloughed and one of them, with time on his hands, has been badgering her to let her hair down. He doesn’t think this should be a problem as her hair’s well over 2 metres long but she’s not so sure.
Meanwhile Lucy and the others thought they could skip lockdown rules if they went out through the wardrobe but lockdown is just as strict in Narnia where the Evil Queen is offering Turkish Delight as a spurious antidote. As for Aslan he’s been in the frontline of dealing with the virus, unfortunately without PPE. Sad to say he paid the price but they are clapping madly for him and hope that will bring him back.
Jack and Jill were both taken ill. Jack got it first and Jill came tumbling after. Fortunately they both recovered but are keen to promote the message we should wash our hands, stay at home and not end up as data.
Old Mother Hubbard is thankfully well but was disconcerted to find her cupboards bare, necessitating a shopping expedition. She couldn’t get an online slot so had to go to the shops in person. She found social distancing and the man in the mask who helped her at the checkout somewhat disconcerting but has thankfully restored her cupboards to bursting point. She’s even flush with toilet paper apparently.
The Old Woman in a shoe, who has so many children she doesn’t know what to do, has been hard hit as you’d expect. The children are restless, bored and on top of each other and her partner who has been furloughed and is also at home has been no help whatsoever.
In Banbury Cross the fine lady who rode a white horse has slipped out of the limelight and all the talk is about a fine lady in a white coat who is less accustomed to rings on her fingers and bells on her toes than to plastic gloves and a surgical mask.
Wee Willie Winkie has been running round town making sure everyone is safely locked down. He didn’t used to run but, as it’s encouraged by the guidance and everyone else seems to be doing it, he’s taken it up. He sucks his teeth and tuts at people who break or bend the rules but doesn’t think he might be one of them.
Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine lady who wears a white coat.
With gloves on her fingers and mask on her nose
hope they’ll protect her wherever she goes.
Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to meet with a doctor who’ll do as she must
No rings on her fingers or bells on her toes
But lives in her hands and a difficult task.
No pouting, no posing, celebrity fans;
anonymous doctor in surgical gown.
No twitter or Facebook or instagram fun
just wards full of patients with a tough job to do.
So who will we value when all this is through?
Will celebrity matter? I’m not sure. Are you?
Lockdown is tough
if you live in a shoe
with this many children
and nothing to do.
Kiss them and feed them;
stuff them with broth
But when they are bored
that will not be enough.
Father’s on furlough
but no help at all.
They don’t have a garden
can’t kick a ball.
We can exercise outside
but just once a day
with strangers all glowering
‘Keep out the way’.
No sitting down
or enjoying the sun.
No open space
for the children to run.
As for home schooling
that’s kind of rough
with this many people
to concentrate’s tough.
Lockdown is hard
if you’re stuck in a shoe.
You’ve a nice house
so it’s ok for you.
‘A pause in the normal
rare peace and quiet’?
That’s ok for you
but our house is a riot.
Stuff them, feed them
fill them with bread
TV, the sofa
then pack them to bed.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
and found that she’d run out out of stores
but what with the virus
we don’t like folk round us
and aren’t keen on shopping and queues.
Old Mother Hubbard tried online shopping
to see if they’d come to her door
but she’d lost the habit
and they’d too much traffic
and needed her custom no more.
So old Mother Hubbard
with her empty cupboard
knew that she must join the queue.
They kept social distance
‘twas all a performance
but what can a poor woman do?
A man in a mask helped her with the task
and somehow got all of it bagged..
It would need her attention
and much disinfection
then loading of shelves till they sagged.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
and saw that she’d everything there
She had tins for all seasons,
food beyond reason
and happily loo rolls to spare.
Andrew Green's Poems 