Royal Superfans

Royal Superfans - Harry and Meghan's Royal Wedding.
Royal superfans preparing for Harry and Meghan’s Wedding.

And now they’ll come; the sycophants

In silly hats and draped with flags

Sleeping out for several nights

To save their place on Windsor streets.


They take it all a bit too far

We’re half amused yet half appalled

To view the strange exotic hoards

That gather now round Windsor’s walls.


We’re local, we’ll go. We’ll  line the streets

To catch the buzz, the grand parade,

The marching bands, the passing waves

But we won’t go wild like such as these.


It’s history, tradition it’s what we do

It’s part of what makes us who we are.

But keep it all in sane proportion.

You’re overboard, you go too far.


We know it’s eccentric, slightly wrong

But like it enough to carry on.

The royals are trapped as much as us

We’ll party on but please, no fuss.


Royal Superfans, Windsor Castle, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's Wedding.
Two days to go but the royal superfans are already in place.









Royal Wedding Visitor Guide


Are you coming to Windsor?

Here’s all you need to know

Where to see the Royal Bride

Or catch Chris Evans show.

There’s screens all down the Long Walk

Refreshment areas too.

The Irish Guards on Castle Hill

And lots of extra loos.

There’s park and ride

Or park and float

There’s extra trains

or come by boat.

Musicians, entertainers

Lots of things to see.

Or parking at the racecourse

And see it on a screen.

The Bride arrives at high noon

Carriages at one.

Process around the royal route

All be done by two.

The Wedding

You’ll have heard about the wedding

For us there’s no getting away

For weeks the bunting’s been flying

The flags are flapping away.

There’s commonwealth, there’s horses

The usual Windsor displays.

But the real big one to pull them all in

Will be the wedding day.

Some hiring out their houses

Some have people to stay

It’ll be a historic occasion

Whatever else you say.

We know about road closures

And where to see the bride

Where they’ll put the big screens

The route to stand beside.

The whole things on our door step.

We’ll kind of get sucked in.

I’m supposed to write a poem for it

So guess I better begin.


Windsor’s Royal Wedding

B3573B28-BCCF-4A08-99CC-6E0010151A15Still no word from the Castle about my offer to be the new Poet Laureate. I didn’t mind too much about being left off the guest list but I think they should take me up on my offer of a poem. As I said to Her Majesty, in an earlier letter, the proper poets have all turned it down but I could turn something out at the drop of a hat and it wouldn’t be half as stuffy. I’m local too. They should give me a try.

A Wedding

There’s going to be a wedding
Just up the road from us
I could have written poems
They only had to ask.

They should know
I’m up for Laureating.
I offer often enough.
I’m their local poet
But seem to get forgot!

You can fuss around
With diamonds
Worry about the dress
But there ought to be a poem
I’m really quite distressed.

You can leave me
Off the guest list
I know it’ll be a squeeze
But don’t forget the poem
Call me quite soon please!

Your Majesty



Your Majesty I’m wondering
If you got my note?
I volunteered for Laureate
But haven’t heard back yet.

I know you’re really busy
With weddings and such stuff
But spare a thought for Poets
Our life can be quite rough.

I’m practicing my poems
And some are really good
I’d like to write a few for you
So get back if you could.

Perhaps you didn’t see my note
It’s very hard to know
So just in case, I thought it best
To have another go.

Poor Prince Harry – thoughts on Windsor’s Royal Wedding

Poor Prince Harry, it’s no joke
Women plan weddings, ignore us blokes.
They went and picked cup final day
Hard on a chap, what can I say?

Always a risk to marry in May
But early wedding should be ok.
It’ll be over conveniently
You can catch the match it’s on TV.

You could have gone, had real good seats
Presented the trophy, met the teams
But Meghan’s from the USA
Won’t understand it’s a special day.