Humpty Dumpty Fell Off A Wall

Any resemblance to recent events is unintended and purely coincidental.

Humpty Dumpty
fell off a wall
The King and his men
weren’t happy at all.

There’s too many falling
Too many ill
The numbers are rising
They’re going up still.

All the Kings horses
and all the Kings men
Couldn’t get numbers
To come down again.

There’s too many poorly
And flat on their back
It’s clearly a problem
We’ll just have to crack.

But the King said it’s simple
Here’s what we must do
Nothing gets done
If it’s left up to you.

The numbers keep rising
Because you will count
If you stop counting
The numbers won’t mount.

If Humpty’s still broken
We’ll just look away
If nobody sees
Then there’s nothing to say.

Mary, Mary

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Why do you have to go?

All the others are staying in

Everyone but you.

 

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Where is there left to go?

With restaurants closed

and shops as well

Where will you have to go?

 

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Stay watch your garden grow

There’s silver bells

And cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row.

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

Why did we not know?

There’s work to do

You have to go

You’re a key worker you.

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary

working in a shop

while your neighbours

In their gardens

moan about their lot.

Jack and Jill both got ill

 

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Jack went off got a cough, Jill came tumbling after.

 

 

 

Jack and Jill both got ill

were pale and chill all over

Jack went off and caught a cough

And Jill came tumbling after.

 

Up Jack got and home did trot

to social isolation

he could not see his mother in law

which was some consolation.

 

It’s worse than flu and does for you

Whatever they might tell you

But thank God for the NHS

and all the ventilators.

 

The moral thus is stay at home

in case you catch it later.

Wash your hands and stay apart

or you’ll end up as data.

Lockdown in Narnia

 

Is going through the wardrobe

allowed in lockdown rules?

Will it still be winter there

and will the frost be cruel?

 

If on the road you met a faun

could you talk to him?

Could you catch the virus there

or are the chances slim?

 

If it’s always winter there

when will lockdown end?

If you met an evil witch

would distancing offend?

 

Would she offer evil treats

a really easy cure?

And do they count the numbers there?

Is someone keeping score?

 

Could PPE save Aslan

or must the lion die?

Can clapping bring him back again

or is that just a lie?

Adam’s Locked in Eden

IMG_7051Lockdown must be hard if you are in a flat with no outside space but sitting in my garden it feels like there are worse places to be. Most people in UK accept the lockdown, even if they are getting bored with it and, if anything , are critical of the government for not introducing it earlier. But it’s not the same everywhere I gather….

 

Poor Adam’s locked in Eden

It really isn’t fair.

A whole world to explore out there

It’s all too much to bear.

 

Eve just wants to go shopping

The snake says it’s ok.

‘Surely it’s not so bad honey?’

What’s a guy to say?

 

Sure God know’s what’s best for us

To be safe and sound at home

But he didn’t make us wise enough

To know we shouldn’t roam.

 

We can’t cope with peace and quiet

The birdsong gets us down

We don’t care what you say’s out there

Folk just want to hit town.

 

We don’t care about the virus

Or who might get it off us.

We don’t care about the other folk

We just care about us.

 

God made paradise perfect

But then gave us free will.

Creation breathes a sigh of relief

That we’re in lockdown still.

 

You have to let us out God

We’ve got so much to do

The world will be a total mess

Creation’s poking through.

Round and round the garden goes good Captain Moore

Round and round the garden
Goes good Captain Moore
Round and round the garden
Then a few times more.

Round and round the garden
With his zimmer frame
Ninety nine, he’s near a ton
But he’s off again!

Round and round the garden
Not a man to quit
Wants to thank the NHS
Wants to do his bit.

Round and round the garden
Raise a thousand pounds
‘Stay at home’, we can’t go out
Round and round the grounds.

One step, two step, are we nearly there?
Seems he’s raised a good deal more
Off we go again.

Round and round the garden
Raise a million pounds
Breaking news – it’s twenty now!
Round and round he goes.

On, on goes lockdown
Will it never end
Cheer us up good Captain Moore
Or we’ll go round the bend.

You can’t keep down old soldiers
Men who fought a war
Round and round the garden
Will you do some more?

NHS our heroes.
You’re a hero too
Round and round the garden
On and on you go.

99 year old war veteran Capt. Tom Moore has raised more than £21m for NHS charities by completing 100 laps of his garden. He has captured the imagination of the British public and has vowed to go on walking although his original £1,000 target has been exceeded beyond anyone’s imagination.

If you would like to donate to the campaign, you can do so by visiting Captain Moore’s official Just Giving pageonline.