Dear Queen Elizabeth

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Andrew Green's avatarAndrew Green's Poems

I work part time these days and don’t earn a lot from poetry so a little extra income would be welcome. I live very near Windsor Castle, Her Majesty’s weekend home so would be up for the Poet Laureate job if they would have me. I wrote to the Queen a while back but haven’t had a reply yet. Hope there’ll be one soon. This was my letter.

Dear Queen Elizabeth,
Just a note to say
When next you need a Laureate,
Please consider me.

I write a lot of poetry
So how hard can it be?
In terms of productivity
You could do worse than me.

I’d mark the big occasions
And mark each special day.
Be it births, or deaths,
Or marriages; the special jubilees.
Providing something rhymes with it
You’ll be OK with me.

The better poets turn it down
Get up themselves and sniffy.
I’ll just…

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Your chance to be the royal bard

 

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Well I offered to be Poet Laureate often enough but they never took me up! Now the inevitable has happened Carol Ann Duffy hasn’t come up with a poem. Seems they’re throwing it open to us amateurs so here’s my big chance, maybe yours?

From today’s Sunday Times.

Your chance to be the royal bard

The silence of Britain’s poet laureate should not discourage readers of The Sunday Times from offering their own tribute to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

We invite you to submit your verse to be considered for publication on the day after the wedding which is being held on May 19.

The first poet laureate, John Dryden, was recompensed for his role with a yearly pension of £200 and “a butt of Canary wine”. All we can promise our winning entrant is the glory of appearing in The Sunday Times, subject to the editor’s decision.

Poems may rhyme or not; they may be long or short. Our only request is that they reach us by Tuesday, May 15.

Please send them to royalpoems@sunday-times.co.uk or by post to Royal Poems Competition, The Sunday Times, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF.

The Wedding

You’ll have heard about the wedding

For us there’s no getting away

For weeks the bunting’s been flying

The flags are flapping away.

There’s commonwealth, there’s horses

The usual Windsor displays.

But the real big one to pull them all in

Will be the wedding day.

Some hiring out their houses

Some have people to stay

It’ll be a historic occasion

Whatever else you say.

We know about road closures

And where to see the bride

Where they’ll put the big screens

The route to stand beside.

The whole things on our door step.

We’ll kind of get sucked in.

I’m supposed to write a poem for it

So guess I better begin.

 

A rivulet of sweat

A rivulet of sweat

Ran down the author’s brow

Had to write a poem

But wasn’t sure just how.

 

The sweat trickled down his forehead

The sweat trickled off his nose

Where would he find a poem?

Heaven only knows!

 

The sweat gathered in a puddle

It gathered on the floor

He found his inspiration was

Not stuck any more.

 

By the sweat of his brow

He found it, found a new idea

When inspiration’s needed

You’ll often find it near.

 

Via Rivulet

Louis

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God bless the child, they’ve called him Louis.

It’s tough to rhyme; we can’t do ‘gooey’.

We have to try, he’s fifth in line;

The Poet Laureate’s pushed for time.

 

So here’s a short and simple verse

To celebrate the new Royal birth.

Three cheers, hip, hip; hip, hip hurray

A baby born St. George’s Day.

 

He shares his birthday with the bard

We’ll write a poem though it’s hard.

Hurray, hurray another Prince

We don’t mind his name sounds French.

Notable Exception

He’s a notable exception

The one who proves the rule

Brighter than the rest of us

He didn’t suffer fools.

 

Extraordinary, gifted,

He really made his mark.

He’d not so much communicate

As issue orders, bark.

 

A notable exception

His brain set him apart

But he alienated all of us

Which wasn’t quite so smart.

 

Notable, exceptional

But really in the end

The thing that really marked him out;

His total lack of friends.

 

 

via Notable

Dear Poet Laureate where’s our poem?

 

 

D4C99235-ED02-4FFE-9F90-70C87986BDFBCarol Ann Duffy have you written a verse

To celebrate the new Royal birth?

It’s hard I know for a child with no name

A tough life in the poetry game.

 

It’s a tough old job but you took the shilling

Have to show up and look half willing.

We often have jobs that we don’t love

We struggle, get by, just do enough.

 

You’re busy perhaps with the wedding one?

Big jobs or small they have to be done.

I’d knock something out before the name

They might give him one that’s hard to rhyme.

 

You know I hope I’m willing to help?

I’m no great poet but can knock out verse

I’ll do my best with a line or two

But won’t be the same as one from you.

You dog, you cur….

animal-dog-pet-dangerous.jpgYou dog, you cur

You insolent pup

I’ll take no more

I’ve had enough!

 

How dare you whine

And snap at me

And offer such

Discourtesy!

 

Who let you out

And off your lead?

How dare the likes of you

Hound me!

 

You slipped your leash

You bared your teeth

How dare you snap

And growl at me!

 

I’ll round you up

I’ll put you down

Come to heel!

How dare you growl.

 

 

via Cur

A response to the Daily Prompt

The Grim Reaper is following you

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A notification once came through

Said, “The Grim Reaper is following you.”

I suspected but now I know it’s true.

He’s behind.

 

So what should an elderly poet do?

It’s hard when you hear he’s following you.

I’m not quitting yet. There’s so much to do.

‘Out my mind!’

 

I’m running hard; my toughest race yet.

Death’s on my tail; won’t let me forget.

I’ve built a good lead. He won’t catch me yet.

Grim Reaper.

 

I can’t run for ever; my pace has to drop;

I know he’ll be on me the moment I stop.

I’ll stay fit and healthy, ahead and on top.

Dig deeper.

 

Forget it Grim Reaper stay well behind

Stay out of my head, don’t mess with my mind.

You may be behind me; I won’t despair.

You can try hard to catch me; 

You’ll be clutching at air.

Elaborate

pexels-photo-934011.jpegElaborate, complicated or opaque!

That’s not the stuff I celebrate.

Keep it plain and simple me

Like to boast simplicity.

 

Over complicated, deep

Learning curve

That’s much to deep?

 

Some can do it

But not me.

 

Won’t expand, elaborate

For emphasis

I’ll just repeat.

 

 

 

 

via Elaborate