Shoplifting Down!

We can’t let up on lockdown

It’s helping to fight crime

The incidence of shoplifting

the lowest of all time.

Shutting all the shops up

Has really done the job

And no footie hooligans

Or loud unruly mobs.

They’ve put an end to bar fights

By closing all the pubs

Loving all the numbers

Except, perhaps, the deaths.

So focus on the good news

And don’t make too much fuss

It’s pretty hard for criminals

And not just all of us.