What was the last thing you did for play or fun?
Sing a song of sixpence
Feet are made of clay
None of this is serious
This is how I play.
They should have made me Laureate
I’d have made it fun.
Just write silly poems
Here’s another one.
Should have been a Carol
But Mighty Tom was there
Snow is in the very sod
But there’s no winter fuel
Cousin Rachel’s she’s in charge
She says the cupboard’s bare.
Must have been the other folk
They left nothing there.
Tinsel in the manger
Twinkle little star
Kings can’t get to Bethlehem
They’re old it’s way too far.
Santa’s stuck in traffic
All the roads are jammed
Reindeer mightn’t make it
We hope that Amazon can.
All the girls just blame the boys
The boys all blame the men
Santa’s in his grotto
And it all comes round again.
Hark the Herald Angels
Shepherds in a field
Not much time for all of that
But keep the glasses filled.
This is tripe and nonsense
Silly, senseless verse
It’s my excuse to play around
It doesn’t get much worse.
Spurs are up at Arsenal
Palace down the road
The King is in his castle
The Queen in borrowed robes
Musk is in his counting house
Counting out the money
Down comes a blackbird
And pecks Kier Starmer’s nose.
Stuff your face with Turkey
Lovely roasted spuds
Parsnips, extra gravy
Who wants Brussels sprouts?
If you’re turning vegan
Do not tell your mum!
Baby in a manger
No room at the inn
How’d you dare not stuff your face
We’re celebrating him?
What you doing Christmas?
Will you be away?
They’re slaughtering the first born
So we don’t think we’ll stay.
We’ll head on up to Egypt
Out of Herod’s way
All the world loves refugees
So we’ll be on our way.
Come all ye faithful
Come to Israel
Away in awful danger
They are bombing infants there.
But hey we all recycle
And some stop eating meat
We’re attacking climate change
So guess the world is safe?
So here’s to merry Christmas
Everyone have fun
Forget about the future
The time to play’s begun.
We are all wassailing
And full of Christmas cheer
Forget about the serious stuff
The best time of the year.
I don’t know where this gets us
I just set out to play
I tried to switch my left brain off
And just to have some fun
Here we go round the mulberry bush
It’s just a silly song.
All of that is in the past.
The future’s just begun.