Our view of the carriage from Windsor’s Long Walk.
And now they’ll come; the sycophants
In silly hats and draped with flags
Sleeping out for several nights
To save their place on Windsor streets.
They take it all a bit too far
We’re half amused yet half appalled
To view the strange exotic hoards
That gather now round Windsor’s walls.
We’re local, we’ll go. We’ll line the streets
To catch the buzz, the grand parade,
The marching bands, the passing waves
But we won’t go wild like such as these.
It’s history, tradition it’s what we do
It’s part of what makes us who we are.
But keep it all in sane proportion.
You’re overboard, you go too far.
We know it’s eccentric, slightly wrong
But like it enough to carry on.
The royals are trapped as much as us
We’ll party on but please, no fuss.
It’s three cheers for Harry,
And three cheers for Meghan
Forget about the national state
And celebrate a wedding.
Everything’s red, blue and white
Church bells are a-ringing
Everyone is on the street
And all the choirs are singing.
Got no time for grumpy folk
We’re overdue a party
Happy tears run down our cheeks
Our cheers are loud and hearty.
Politicians all poe-faced
None of them invited
Not been much to shout about
But now we’re all excited.
Meghan is a clever girl
Seen her on the telly
Bound to shake things up a bit
And add a bit of welly.
William is the one day king
Lesser role for Harry
But he’s found a super bride
He’s no need to worry.
Carriage round the Windsor streets
When will they get started?
Band strikes up a marching tune
Couple have departed.
Dad is anxious, checks his watch
Glad it’s finally started
Catch the footie on the box
Once the crowds have parted.
Harry had a hard time
Now his life looks better
Found a girl who suited him
He’s a lucky beggar.
Waspy women from the shires,
Their disappointed daughters
Harry picked a royal bride
From across the water.
It’s three cheers from loyal throats
It’s three cheers for Meghan
We all think the Prince deserves
A little slice of heaven.
It’s no go the politics
It’s no go the future
All we wants a good day out
And focus on the couture.
Enjoy the party while you can
Enjoy the party poppet
Forget what’s coming down the line
There is no way to stop it.
We all fell out; we don’t agree
The nation is divided
Today we choose to celebrate
And carefully avoid it.
So catch a smile from Harry there
And catch a wave from Meghan
Soldiers in their bright red coats,
A-marching to the wedding.
Britain’s got it’s heritage
Our history is behind us.
Days like this we still do well
Against the odds they bind us.
Are you coming to Windsor?
Here’s all you need to know
Where to see the Royal Bride
Or catch Chris Evans show.
There’s screens all down the Long Walk
Refreshment areas too.
The Irish Guards on Castle Hill
And lots of extra loos.
There’s park and ride
Or park and float
There’s extra trains
or come by boat.
Lots of things to see.
Or parking at the racecourse
And see it on a screen.
The Bride arrives at high noon
Carriages at one.
Process around the royal route
All be done by two.
You’ll have heard about the wedding
For us there’s no getting away
For weeks the bunting’s been flying
The flags are flapping away.
There’s commonwealth, there’s horses
The usual Windsor displays.
But the real big one to pull them all in
Will be the wedding day.
Some hiring out their houses
Some have people to stay
It’ll be a historic occasion
Whatever else you say.
We know about road closures
And where to see the bride
Where they’ll put the big screens
The route to stand beside.
The whole things on our door step.
We’ll kind of get sucked in.
I’m supposed to write a poem for it
So guess I better begin.