Name your top three pet peeves.

You’re really living dangerously

To ask old gits like me.

We‘ll conjure peeves too easily

The difficulty is three.

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It’s hard to pick priorities

Or rank them in a list

So here’s a few picked randomly

I’ll have a go persist.

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First there is the telly

Those formulaic shows

They’re full of virtue signalling

Regardless of the plot.

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They’ll feature every target group

But just to give a nod

Forget the social issues

But the numbers must add up.

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Not that there’ll be Asians

Asians do not count

The quota for ethnicity‘s

Already been made up.

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Worst of all the adverts

They look so very false

Casting to a formula

That never quite adds up.

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If it’s sport they have to have

A female front it up.

Some of them are very good

But really – every time?

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Then another peeve of mine

Is little verbal ticks.

And people who’re too lazy

To say what’s on their mind.

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They’ll be like, ‘Well you know’

Although I really don’t.

They can’t be bothered to tell me

So the chances are I won’t!

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They pepper conversations

With ‘you know’ and with ‘like’

Or fail to finish sentences

And simply tail them off.

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So they’re like simply talking

But like with nothing to say

And I’m like hardly listening

And want to get away.

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Third inconsiderate shoppers

Who carelessly block aisles

With trolleys at right angles

That no one can get past.

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Or else they stop to have a chat

Right where you want to go

Oblivious of surroundings

It makes me cross you know.

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I’m in charge of trolleys

It’s what I do in shops

And all my concentration’s on

Just staying out the way.

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And so it is annoying

When others aren’t the same.

It puts me in a real bad mood

And that is such a shame.

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Then of course there’s queuing

And getting out the store.

Why not get your money out

While waiting in the line?

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Have consideration

for those queued up behind.

Did you forget you’d have to pay?

Have your money out.

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But I forgot – you’ve coupons

And so much paperwork!

Not to mention catching up

And chatting with the clerk.

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Blimey get me out of here

Shopping is a bore!

And while you’ve got me trapped in here

I’ve thought of number four!

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Supermarkets – hell on Earth

For those who don’t hear well.

Hard enough to hear above

The wretched throbbing fridge.

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But then there’s pointless musak

Why do you do that?!!

Drowning out my partner’s words

So I can’t hear at all.

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I said you shouldn’t ask old gits.

I think I’d better stop.

The trouble with old age you see

Is we get peeved a lot!