Hope I’m not too hard to spot.

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

I’m an old man seventy two

And roughly six feet tall

I might have shrunk a little bit

Cos that’s what old folk do.

My hair was brown

Now going grey

Although I’ve still got

Plenty.

I have my hair cut fairly short

Back and sides a ‘four’ cut.

Slightly longer on the top

Unkempt and badly parted.

I’m fairly fit despite my age

And haven’t put much weight on.

Odds on, if it’s summer time

I’ll have a pair of shorts on.

My face is fairly thin I think

But has a biggish nose on.

I haven’t got much facial hair

But can be lazy shaving.

I have a very mobile face

And quite expressive eyebrows

But mostly I’ve a far off look

And should pay more attention.

I’ve done my best

But don’t stick out

I blend with my surroundings

Hope I’m not too hard to spot

And one day you will see me.

All the men went down the pub… they’d leave the women cooking.

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

All the men went down the pub

They’d leave the women cooking

All the men gone to the pub

With cheery smiling faces

They’d be getting in the drinks

And leave the women cooking

In the kitchen, left at home cooking Christmas dinner.

Now the Turkey’s nearly done

The bird and all its trimmings.

Have to turn the oven down

Don’t want dinner spoiling

All the men still up the pub

No sign they’re returning.

All the women stressing out

The kids are just excited.

Eventually the men roll in

And dinner can get started

Not till dad has carved the bird

A man’s role so important.

Pull the crackers, Christmas hats

And push on with the party

Stuff ourselves till we’re so full

We’re at the point of bursting.

Children help with clearing up

Goodness so much washing!

Maybe men will help wash up

Perhaps a little guilty

But they’ll soon be dozing off

Beer has made them sleepy.

This is how the thing once was

Different time and history

I wouldn’t like to risk it now

Would be kind of chancey!

Dinner would be in the bin

She’d probably divorce me!

Can you ask me later?

Was today typical?

Can you ask me later?

The ‘was’ is still to come

It’s busy being ‘is’ right now

And will be for some time.

What’s been typical up to now

Is this annoying prompt

Ridiculous, impractical

No way we can start.

If I let today be over

Tomorrow will have come

It will no longer be ‘today’

We’ll have another one!

I’m very self effacing

How would you describe yourself to someone?

I’m very self effacing

The first thing you should know.

If I had a trumpet

You would not hear it blow.

I’m always putting myself down

The butt of my own jokes.

The fact is I’ve so many faults

They’d be too hard to cloak.

You’ll find I am cack handed

Born with two left thumbs.

In terms of practicalities

I really am quite dumb.

I’m great at climbing ladders

But useless at the top

I end up simply holding them

So others can go up.

I can do public speaking

For me it holds no fears

But send me in to work a room

I’ll crumble at the knees.

I’m not a social creature

Of small talk I have none

I can’t do conversation

Am really not much fun.

I’d rather send an e mail

Then have to make a call

Much prefer transactions

Where you don’t talk at all.

I’m qualified in management

Know the theory stuff

But hate to tell folk what to do

So theory ain’t enough.

I’m not entirely stupid

Brighter than I seem

But kind of get trapped in my head

My life lived in a dream.

My life’s been episodic

I’ve lost friends on the way

Got used to doing things on my own

Sadly that’s my way.

There’s times I have let people down

And on occasion badly

Should have done things differently

But missed the chance now sadly.

I’ve often been a passenger

Tagged along quite blindly

Need to get a grip on life

And treat my faults less lightly.

I’m an ancient fossil – a dinosaur myself.

If you could bring back one dinosaur, which one would it be?

Dinosaurs! we’ll bless my soul.

That’s a difficult one!

The best ones green and plastic

And made for five year olds.

Mostly they grow out of them

Before they’re seven or eight

I’d like to show more interest

But I’ve left it rather late.

I’m an ancient fossil

A dinosaur myself

Living in the distant past

And practically extinct.

I’d like to write of aurusis

triceratopy things

But much too old

To learn that stuff

And really not my thing.

I reached for my thesaurus

More my kind of thing

But it really wasn’t too much help

So nothing more to bring.

Same old, same old questions

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

I like to do the daily prompts

Because they get me views

But it’s same old, same old questions

Just asked in different ways!

I already said where I want to go

And where I’m planning next

And now I get free tickets

What more’d you want to know?

Offering free tickets

Just makes me think of ‘scam’.

Might be my suspicious mind

But that’s the way I am.

There’s no accommodation

Where are we meant to stay?

I’m sure you’ll want to help with that

And God knows what we’ll pay!

Or you’ll say collect the tickets

Lock us in a room

No escape from salesmen

Time share deals our doom.

Our maybe there’s fake tickets

And then you cancel flights

We have to pay rebooking fees

Our else we lose the flight.

Our maybe your just phishing

It’s data you will steal

And you will use the data

To clear our bank accounts.

I seldom enter contests

I think they’re just a scam

Expensive premium telephone line

And little chance you’ve won.

So no thanks to free tickets

Things are seldom free

Too good to be true I think

Smells awful strange to me.

At school they called me ‘Vingit’.

What’s the story behind your nickname?

At school they called me Vingit

because of how I said

the word in French for twenty

written down as ‘vingt’.

I never got the accent

and found this specially hard.

As far as I can understand

it should sound more like ‘van’.

The English are so awful

at learning other tongues.

I guess because we’re fortunate

to own the best known one.

If you don’t understand us

We’ll just speak extra loud

Our grip of foreign languages

Not one to make us proud.

I will not surrender or pander to my age.

What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

72 and still running.

I will not surrender

Or pander to my age.

Staying fit and active

the focus of my days.

Running’s my obsession

It gets me out of bed.

I wake with training sessions

running through my head.

I’m slower than I once was

Our muscles go with age

But try to be competitive

With others of my age.

I have a training programme

Do intervals for speed

With lots of slower easy runs

For that endurance base.

I don’t do faddy diets

But balance what I eat

We grow a ton of fruit and veg

So that is what I eat.

I try to get a good night’s sleep

And have recovery days

Training breaks our muscles down

A good rest builds them up.

The secret of a good old age

Is not to give things up.

Tell yourself you can’t do much

And lo and behold

You won’t!

Slightly off the beaten track

What are your future travel plans?

Holland America Cruise Ship Oosterdam

Planned and booked our next big journey

Slightly off the beaten track.

Flying first to Buenos Aries

Santiago coming back.

Meanwhile places we’ve not been to

On the good ship Oosterdam

Can’t say I am not excited

Looking forward? Yes I am.

Round the coast from Argentina

Dropping in on Uruguay

Visiting the Falkland Islands

And its Penguin colony.

Dropping down to the Antarctic

Sights we won’t have seen before

Wildlife witnessed on the ice floes

Penguins, seals and many more.

Sailing back towards Cape Horn

Up through the Magellan Straits.

Hoping not too rough a passage

but one to boast of to our mates.

Up the coast to Santiago

Where we round our journey off.

Flying back from there to Heathrow

Three weeks cruising quite enough.

Too many lies

What would you change about modern society?

Too much fake news

Too many lies

Dividing us

With different ‘truths’.

Young don’t listen

to the news.

Rely on Tik Tok

for their views.

Now even cameras

tell us lies

Deep fake photos

Videos.

No consensus

shared beliefs

Faces buried

in our screens.

We’re gullible

Too easily led

Conspiracies

So quickly spread.

Why believe

the word of fools?

Fluff and nonsense

What is real?

Give us news

that we can trust.

Not opinion

Dressed as facts.

So try to find

objective truth

Reject the lies, the fake,

the spoof.

Reclaim a narrative

we agree;

shared objectives,

unity.