I neither want a dog or cat

Dogs or cats?

I neither want a dog or cat.

Pets for me are too much faff.

Tie you down, make travel hard

and tell me why? For what reward?

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I don’t like dogs that trip me up

Or cats that scratch when on my lap

I’ll stroke them when it seems I should

To please their owners

That’s polite.

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But save me from ‘dog friendly’ pubs

And animals round me while I eat.

Please don’t lick or much worse bite

They aren’t sensations I much like.

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I’d rather have

my garden birds

Than cats that prowl,

disturb the peace.

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And as for dogs

They make a mess

And make you careful

Where you walk.

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And as for walking

I like it best

If I don’t carry poo

In a plastic bag.