How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

I’m an old man seventy two

And roughly six feet tall

I might have shrunk a little bit

Cos that’s what old folk do.

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My hair was brown

Now going grey

Although I’ve still got

Plenty.

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I have my hair cut fairly short

Back and sides a ‘four’ cut.

Slightly longer on the top

Unkempt and badly parted.

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I’m fairly fit despite my age

And haven’t put much weight on.

Odds on, if it’s summer time

I’ll have a pair of shorts on.

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My face is fairly thin I think

But has a biggish nose on.

I haven’t got much facial hair

But can be lazy shaving.

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I have a very mobile face

And quite expressive eyebrows

But mostly I’ve a far off look

And should pay more attention.

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I’ve done my best

But don’t stick out

I blend with my surroundings

Hope I’m not too hard to spot

And one day you will see me.

Was today typical?

Can you ask me later?

The ‘was’ is still to come

It’s busy being ‘is’ right now

And will be for some time.

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What’s been typical up to now

Is this annoying prompt

Ridiculous, impractical

No way we can start.

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If I let today be over

Tomorrow will have come

It will no longer be ‘today’

We’ll have another one!

How would you describe yourself to someone?

I’m very self effacing

The first thing you should know.

If I had a trumpet

You would not hear it blow.

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I’m always putting myself down

The butt of my own jokes.

The fact is I’ve so many faults

They’d be too hard to cloak.

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You’ll find I am cack handed

Born with two left thumbs.

In terms of practicalities

I really am quite dumb.

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I’m great at climbing ladders

But useless at the top

I end up simply holding them

So others can go up.

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I can do public speaking

For me it holds no fears

But send me in to work a room

I’ll crumble at the knees.

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I’m not a social creature

Of small talk I have none

I can’t do conversation

Am really not much fun.

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I’d rather send an e mail

Then have to make a call

Much prefer transactions

Where you don’t talk at all.

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I’m qualified in management

Know the theory stuff

But hate to tell folk what to do

So theory ain’t enough.

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I’m not entirely stupid

Brighter than I seem

But kind of get trapped in my head

My life lived in a dream.

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My life’s been episodic

I’ve lost friends on the way

Got used to doing things on my own

Sadly that’s my way.

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There’s times I have let people down

And on occasion badly

Should have done things differently

But missed the chance now sadly.

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I’ve often been a passenger

Tagged along quite blindly

Need to get a grip on life

And treat my faults less lightly.

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

I like to do the daily prompts

Because they get me views

But it’s same old, same old questions

Just asked in different ways!

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I already said where I want to go

And where I’m planning next

And now I get free tickets

What more’d you want to know?

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Offering free tickets

Just makes me think of ‘scam’.

Might be my suspicious mind

But that’s the way I am.

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There’s no accommodation

Where are we meant to stay?

I’m sure you’ll want to help with that

And God knows what we’ll pay!

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Or you’ll say collect the tickets

Lock us in a room

No escape from salesmen

Time share deals our doom.

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Our maybe there’s fake tickets

And then you cancel flights

We have to pay rebooking fees

Our else we lose the flight.

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Our maybe your just phishing

It’s data you will steal

And you will use the data

To clear our bank accounts.

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I seldom enter contests

I think they’re just a scam

Expensive premium telephone line

And little chance you’ve won.

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So no thanks to free tickets

Things are seldom free

Too good to be true I think

Smells awful strange to me.