Lockdown in Narnia


Is going through the wardrobe

allowed in lockdown rules?

Will it still be winter there

and will the frost be cruel?


If on the road you met a faun

could you talk to him?

Could you catch the virus there

or are the chances slim?


If it’s always winter there

when will lockdown end?

If you met an evil witch

would distancing offend?


Would she offer evil treats

a really easy cure?

And do they count the numbers there?

Is someone keeping score?


Could PPE save Aslan

or must the lion die?

Can clapping bring him back again

or is that just a lie?


Shoplifting Down!

We can’t let up on lockdown

It’s helping to fight crime

The incidence of shoplifting

the lowest of all time.

Shutting all the shops up

Has really done the job

And no footie hooligans

Or loud unruly mobs.

They’ve put an end to bar fights

By closing all the pubs

Loving all the numbers

Except, perhaps, the deaths.

So focus on the good news

And don’t make too much fuss

It’s pretty hard for criminals

And not just all of us.