Jack and Jill both got ill
were pale and chill all over
Jack went off and caught a cough
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up Jack got and home did trot
to social isolation
he could not see his mother in law
which was some consolation.
It’s worse than flu and does for you
Whatever they might tell you
But thank God for the NHS
and all the ventilators.
The moral thus is stay at home
in case you catch it later.
Wash your hands and stay apart
or you’ll end up as data.
In the town of Corona,
locked up in her tower
I plead with Rapunzel
to let down her hair.
Rapunzel, Rapunzel
your hair is so long,
we’re socially distanced;
how can it be wrong?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel
It’s two metres long,
potentially longer,
so thick and so strong.
Rapunzel, Rapunzel
I could wear a mask.
Just let your hair down.
Is it too much to ask?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel
I’ll go round the bend?
They’ve furloughed us princes
Where will this all end?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel
I could take the test?
Or should we just FaceTime
perhaps that is best?
Is going through the wardrobe
allowed in lockdown rules?
Will it still be winter there
and will the frost be cruel?
If on the road you met a faun
could you talk to him?
Could you catch the virus there
or are the chances slim?
If it’s always winter there
when will lockdown end?
If you met an evil witch
would distancing offend?
Would she offer evil treats
a really easy cure?
And do they count the numbers there?
Is someone keeping score?
Could PPE save Aslan
or must the lion die?
Can clapping bring him back again
or is that just a lie?
We can’t let up on lockdown
It’s helping to fight crime
The incidence of shoplifting
the lowest of all time.
Shutting all the shops up
Has really done the job
And no footie hooligans
Or loud unruly mobs.
They’ve put an end to bar fights
By closing all the pubs
Loving all the numbers
Except, perhaps, the deaths.
So focus on the good news
And don’t make too much fuss
It’s pretty hard for criminals
And not just all of us.
Seems we found an answer
To that virus thing
It wasn’t like the medics knew
What do experts bring?
Bleach and disinfectant
Ought to do the trick
Flush the sickness out of you
Hit it with a stick.
Ask a snake oil doctor
If you want the truth
No use over thinking
Answers on the hoof.
Have you thought of sunlight?
Fresh air, open doors?
What’s the use of doctors
When you’re in the wars?
Inject with disinfectant
Stick it in your arm
Forget the manufacturers
What could be the harm?
You can’t think I was serious?
Who’d be such a fool?
That’d be ridiculous
Fake news, over-ruled.
Lockdown must be hard if you are in a flat with no outside space but sitting in my garden it feels like there are worse places to be. Most people in UK accept the lockdown, even if they are getting bored with it and, if anything , are critical of the government for not introducing it earlier. But it’s not the same everywhere I gather….
Poor Adam’s locked in Eden
It really isn’t fair.
A whole world to explore out there
It’s all too much to bear.
Eve just wants to go shopping
The snake says it’s ok.
‘Surely it’s not so bad honey?’
What’s a guy to say?
Sure God know’s what’s best for us
To be safe and sound at home
But he didn’t make us wise enough
To know we shouldn’t roam.
We can’t cope with peace and quiet
The birdsong gets us down
We don’t care what you say’s out there
Folk just want to hit town.
We don’t care about the virus
Or who might get it off us.
We don’t care about the other folk
We just care about us.
God made paradise perfect
But then gave us free will.
Creation breathes a sigh of relief
That we’re in lockdown still.
You have to let us out God
We’ve got so much to do
The world will be a total mess
Creation’s poking through.
We tell them that they’re heroes;
Stand outside and clap
But are they meant to die for us?
Is it enough to clap?
We praise their dedication,
Utterly selfless care
But where is that equipment?
Why is it not there?
Medics are not soldiers
They don’t sign up for war
They are not meant to die for us
Just to give us care.
We praise our gallant medics
But it’s plain for all to see
They need the right protection
Where’s the PPE?
Christ can’t come this Easter
They’ve locked him in the tomb
Hope may spring eternal
But don’t come out your room.
The church is locked this Easter
The priests all stuck at home
We’re worshipping remotely
The strangest Easter known.
Recall poor Jesus’ passion
The three days in the tomb
Pray for resurrection
For getting out your room.
Three days can change everything
So what will these weeks do?
There’s going to have to be a change
I guess it’s down to you.
Starin’ at the same old interior standing in my own front room
Heard the news in a thousand ways, but it came out soundin’ ‘ just the same
Telly said, man, you better shun the world
I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to leave
But remember one thing, don’t touch your face or go near human beings
So I got out
Paris was a place you could hide away, if you felt you didn’t fit in
French police wouldn’t give me no peace, said that I shoulda’ stayed in
Down along the left bank, minding my own
But they said three or four was a crowd
Got me arrested for invading their space,
when all I did was breath fresh air
I was accused
I moved on
Down in Rome I wasn’t getting enough
Of the things that make a man feel alive
Pope gave a mass to an empty square, seemed I just hadn’t a prayer
Getting desperate, indeed, alone in a tourist attraction
Oh, my dear, had be outt’a there for the vatican won’t give it no sanction
I wasn’t ready for that, no, no
I moved right out east, yeah
On the Peking ferry I was feeling merry, sailing all the way back here
I fell in love with a Chinese girl by the light of an eastern moon
But Shanghai Lil she went and got ill, with a cough that just weren’t natural
We were sent below deck, a right pain in the neck
Stuck on a cruise ship forever
Stuck on a cruise ship forever
I firmly believed that I didn’t need anyone but me
I sincerely thought I was so complete
Seems now that’s how it must be
The women I’ve known I wouldn’t let tie my shoe
They wouldn’t give you the time of day
But life all alone knocked me off my feet
Now all alone I just flounder
And if they had the words I would tell to you
To help you on your way and cope with the life we’re now livin’
I couldn’t quote you no dickens, shelley or keats
‘Cause it’s all been said before
Make the best out of the bad, just laugh it off
You ain’t go in’. Any place anyway, so remember
Every picture tells a story don’t it?
Every picture tells a story don’t it?
Every picture tells a story don’t it?
Every picture tells a story don’t it?
Every picture tells a story don’t it?
Every picture tells a story don’t it?
Andrew Green's Poems 